Foundation
by Somnis Morpheus
Summary: Being a nation is a lonely existence, your past would follow you everywhere. This is what Bulgaria thought, subjecting himself to isolation, but an unlikely person might change his idea. (T-For safety)


**Author's note: So, I have another one-shot. This was inspired by some thoughts lingering in my mind. **

**This is kinda dedicated to someone actually.**

**Disclaimer: Hetalia is not mine, the poem though, is mine.**

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**Foundation**

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_When days go on, I open my eyes to meet the day_

_My heart was numb, but that's alright, I will stay_

_Hearing nothing, seeing nothing, everything is well_

_A small sorry, a short story, it's okay, all is well_

_A sincere apology, falling tears, It's fine, all is well_

_Smiling softly, crying slightly, it's fine, all is well_

_No matter how many times you break my heart_

_I can only cry and accept the truth, like from the start_

_No matter how many times you may hurt me_

_It's alright, no matter, I will always forgive thee_

_because, no sin has been committed_

_Because, No fault is to be blamed_

_Because, all humans are fault to this nature_

_And we are fault for this endless structure_

_This endless cycle of pain and suffering_

_Is nothing but a person's foundation_

\- M.S.

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I sat outside of America's porch, it was the annual Christmas party for us nations and I prompted to avoid them as much as possible today. A few bottles of liquor and I'm already half inebriated, I can still talk properly, unlike half the nations within the house. I could scarcely hear England sobs loudly, and I could already hear a certain Serbian babbling about his war days. So much noise, so much chaos, and yet I can hear the laughter and joy within the house. I sighed, I didn't belong there.

I took another sip of my Rakija and sighed, I looked into my glass, the liquid reflecting my face. It was the same black hair, parted neatly at the middle. The same green eyes, that looked resigned and tire. The same face, the same person, the same me. And yet, when I think about it, do I even still want to be me?

What was it in this life that has ever kept me sane? I was the lone wolf within the Balkan peninsula. I was once a great empire. I once defeated the Ottoman empire. I was once part of the Axis. With all these things, good or bad, what kept me sane? Years of living, years of endless turmoil, distrust, abandonment, loneliness, betrayal, and sadness. What kept me sane?

And yet, it wasn't just me was it? I wasn't the only one who git hurt. How many of those people in the room have I hurt, Betrayed, and even fought with. No wonder Serbia hates me. No wonder Turkey teases me. I hurt so many people didn't I? I can never recall my ambitions, I knew it was for power, but it might as well had been vengeance, it might even be for ambition. I'll never know, never recall, years of living had made me forget such things.

I heard something crash inside, followed by laughter and enraged shouts. It was getting lively, I can even hear Turkey and Greece arguing already. I sighed again, I didn't belong, I felt like I didn't belong. Why should I? I was the lone wolf, aloof and proud. Not even my neighbors could get along with me. Some even despised me, hate me, and even ignore me. Serbia was a primary example. I'm alone, I may be keeping diplomatic relationships, but I'm still alone.

"The more you look like that, the more wrinkles you'll get."

I jumped at the sound, turning my face to meet with ruby like eyes. The man's face was young, his eyes sparkling with curiosity. His strawberry blonde hair was neat as usual and that small hat still in it's proper place. He was smiling slightly, the single canine almost unnoticeable in the dark light of the outside. I sighed as I faced my neighbor, Romania.

"What my face looks has nothing to do with you." I shot him a small glare, "what are you even doing here, your best friend is probably drunk and causing chaos." I said, indicating to the Serbian I can still hear blabbering loudly about something I stopped caring about.

He chuckled, his face carrying that ever present smile, "I think Milivoj can deal with his own problems." he said, calling the Serbian by his first name, showing how close they are.

I felt a pang of jealousy somehow. No one has ever called me by my human name before, and I haven't called anyone by theirs. It clearly shows how my relationships are, distant, aloof, and alone. I will admit, my relationships with the others have gotten better, even the Serbian and I are in civil terms, but there is still a wall, something barricading me from interacting with them fully. I'm surrounded by people, but I'm still alone.

"You should still join them." I said as I took an other sip from my glass, "What do you want anyway? I have no desire to play buddy-buddy tonight." I told him harshly, dropping all politeness as the Alcohol took over my emotions.

Because, after all, our relationship is only based on diplomatic terms. Our relationship, friendship, is merely a pretense, a facade. It's not true, no, because I can never open up myself to them. How could I? years, for years, they have done nothing but fought me, betrayed me, and even leave for years, I've done the same. No matter how much I try to forget, the past follows me. Years of living in this strange isolation. Years, years, years of being alone in a sea of people. Watching them, watching them from the lonely perch of my mind.

"But you look so lonely!" he whined as he stood beside me, taking a sip from his own glass of wine, "It's the holidays, no one deserves to be alone."

And there it was, that word which I always used to describe myself. Alone. I had no one, no family, no real friends, no one. I only had my diplomatic relationships, but those weren't real. No, who would want to be friends with me? I practically fought with my neighbors. I think most of them were hurt by me at some point. I fought them, for power, ambition, and pride, but in the end-I was alone.

"I don't need your company." I snapped at him, turning my green eyes to face the blonde, "Why would you accompany me anyway-have you forgotten, the Second Balkan war, my association with the Axis, Have you conveniently forgotten that! Especially when I took control over you during my empire days!"

At this point I could clearly say the Alcohol is taking effect. I'm never one to lose to my emotions. I was always trying to be civil, hiding behind the pretense of apathy. I never show them what I really feel. Emotions are a weakness, they simply held you back. Why should I show them my weakness, no, they will used it against me. I will be vulnerable if they did.

I looked to meet his eyes, guarded Ruby eyes were staring back at me. I observed his posture, he was tense, the wine glass in his hand was held so tightly that it might break. His face was blank though, the usual smile gone and was replaced by thin lips pinched into a straight line. I don't usually see this side of Romania, no, the man was all smiles and laughs.

"Of course I haven't forgotten..." he murmured finally, his eyes still staring back at me, "How could I forget, I lived through those days." he said, his voice even, neither low nor high, "How could I ever forgot, those were the few things that built my foundation. They built me, as both a nation and as a person, how could I ever forget."

I sighed, expecting him to leave me alone, "Leave then, don't associate with me, your former master." I said to him, indicating to those years he was under me as Wallachia.

But he didn't move, instead he even stepped closer and grabbed my free hand, "Even with our past, it doesn't mean I should leave you alone." he said as he looked at my eyes, determined ruby eyes never looking away, "No one, deserves this isolation."

I blinked and then I scowled, pulling my hand back roughly, "How would you know!" I snapped again, my voice near yelling, "You are always surrounded by people! That Serb! Moldova! Your Magic Club!" My voice was raising, the hidden jealousy finally showing itself, "How would you know?!"

He sighed, he placed the wine glass on the nearby table, before bringing his hands to cup my face. He gently rubbed my cheers with his thumbs. It was relaxing actually, and I can somehow feel my anger deflating. This was Romania after all, he was friendly, cheerful, mischievous, and childish. And yet, I can never forget that he was also reasonable, caring, and gentle, most especially whenever he handles Moldova. When he was handling an enraged Serbia. Especially when he was handling fragile people.

This gentleness, is what I was craving long ago, but could never attain. Because, all my life, I had been alone. I had no one. I isolated myself. To get stronger, better, and more powerful. And yet, I still crave this gentleness that no one will be able to give me. And yet, here I'am, sighing softly as I experienced the gentleness in which I craved.

"Loneliness isn't defined by the number of people surrounding you." he whispered softly, continuing his ministrations, "It's defined by the feeling of emptiness and separation from others." he finished wisely.

"spent to much time with Greece?" I asked him softly.

He grinned and smiled sheepishly, "You could say that."

We stayed like that for a while, he was cradling my face and I was staring at him. Usually I would have pushed him away, but instead, I couldn't help but relax to the touch. No one has ever held me like this. No, no one has ever gone close enough. I wouldn't let them, there was always a distance. The only contact I ever allowed were polite hand shakes. And yet, this person, who I bullied and conquered during our youth, was holding me gently, almost lovingly even. It was strange, and yet-I enjoyed it.

"Have you calmed?" he asked me, the smile on his face was small, gently, unlike his usual mischievous grin, or Machiavellian smirk.

I shook my head for a moment, before correcting myself and nodding my head, "Da." I voiced.

He let go of my face, but I grabbed his hands, dropping the glass of rakija between us. He blinked up at me and I only stared at him. I bit my lower lip, nervousness and shyness starting to show. I never held anyone willingly, no. And yet, here I'am, holding both his hands. They were warm within the grasp of my cold ones. This was strange, but I don;t hate it. I would even admit to liking them

"D-don't-" I started, I took another breathe to calm my nerves, "Don't leave me, alright." I told him softly, averting my gaze.

I heard a faint chuckle and before I knew it, a soft kiss was pressed unto my cheek, "Of course, no one deserves to be alone, especially during the holidays." he said softly.

I blushed, but I didn't bother to let go of his hands. In fact, I gripped them tighter. He only smiled at me, and I have to say, that was the most sincere smile I've seen on him ever since I've met him. It made me smile somewhat, and made me feel happy. But I will never outright tell him. No, it would only serve to embarrass me further.

"Thank you, Romania." I told him softly, looking away in fear of him seeing my red cheeks.

There was a pause and then I heard him whisper, "Vladimir."

I blinked and turned my face to his direction, did he just give me his human name? I was about to open my mouth to ask, but the smile on his face was enough. I smiled in turn, "Nikola." I said simply.

He smiled before carefully leaning forward. I didn't move, anticipating his actions. Soft lips met mine, giving them a light peck. I continued to stare at him, even though he pulled away. I didn't know what to say. So many emotions running through my mind; fear, confusion, anxiety, happiness, but most of all guilt. Guilt because, even though this person seems to have forgiven me, I still hurt him somehow. I hurt this person, controlled him even.

I was about to open my mouth, but he shook his head and gave me a small smile.

And this is when I realized, not everyone lived in the past like I did. I didn't need to live in fear of my past following. I didn't need to isolate myself, to hide behind any pretense of strength to defend myself. I don't even need to despised my actions once before. Because as he said, it was my past that built my foundation.

I guess, I didn't need to be alone after all.

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**Author's note: Anyway, I hope you guys like it.**

**Please forgive poor plotting, typographical errors, and grammatical errors**

**Read and Review I guess**


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